God we're drunk
by Rizalicious
Summary: previously know as Fullmetal alchemist rappers. knida funny. i think.... rated for langage, and sexual stuff i might up the rating
1. My Band

Sarah: IIIIIMMMMM BANCK YO!  
Riza: Roy? Honey Sarah's trying to rap

Roy: gags (Snaps fingers) She doesnt own anything.

It was night when they decied to sing one semi-drunk Lt. surrounded by 4 lower ranked officer and a colonel.  
Who were just down right ... drunk. yep and she did not want to take them home. so there they were in the office drinking and trying to rap to d12's my band switching the names of people as well.

(Roy)  
I don't know dude.  
I think everyone's all jealous and shit  
cuz I'm like the lead singer of a band dude.  
And I think everyone's got a fucking problem with me dude.  
And they need to take it up with me after the show.  
Because...  
These chicks don't even know the name of my band.  
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands.  
Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man.  
All because I'm the lead singer of my band...

(Roy again)  
So I get off stage right and drop the mic  
Walk up to the hot chicks and  
I'm all like "Sup ladies, my name's Roy Mustang.  
I'm the lead singer in D12 baby"  
They're all like "Oh my god it's him"  
"Riza oh my fuckin' god it's Mustang"  
"I swear to fucking god dude you fuckin rock"  
"Please Mustang please let me suck your cock"  
And by now the rest of the fellas get jealous  
Especially when I drop the beat and do my acapellas  
All the chicks start yellin', all the hot babes  
Throw their bras and their shirt and their panties on stage  
So like every single night they pick a fight with me  
But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry  
Cuz they're back on stage the next night with me  
Dude I just think you're tryna steal the light from me  
Yesterday Havoc tried to pull a knife on me  
Cause I told him Riza Hawkeye's my wife to be  
This rock star shit, it's the life for me  
And all the other guys just despise me because

(Now Riza was just staring at them like they were nuts.)

(Roy yet again)  
These chicks don't even know the name of my band.  
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands.  
Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man.  
All because I'm the lead singer of my band.  
My band hic My band My band My band belch My band My band My band My band My band

Riza: Dear God they are drunk...

(Falman)  
You just wanna see a dog backwards don't you  
Hey dad how come we don't rap on Protools  
Smash these vocals and do a performance  
But we in the van and he in a tour bus  
You don't want my autograph, yous a liar  
And no I'm Falman (oh I thought you was Winry)  
What the hell is wrong with that dressing room  
Cuz my shit is looking smaller than a decimal  
See I know how to rap, see it's simple but  
All I did was read a Al Elirc book  
So I'm more intact, tryna get on the map  
Doin' jumping jacks whilin' get whipped on my back

Riza looks at Falman

(Havoc And Fury)  
Havoc: Look at Roy little punk ass thinkin' he the shit

Fury: Yeah I know man find himself taking on a flick  
Hey I thought we had an interview with Lust and Crew

(Roy: No I had an interview not you two)

Havoc: You gonna be late for soundcheck

Fury: Man I ain't goin' to soundcheck

Havoc: But our mics are screwed up

Fury: and his always sound best You know what man I'ma say something Hey yo Roy

(Roy: You got something to say)  
Fury: Man no

Havoc: I thought you bout to tell him off, what's up

Fury: Man I'ma tell him when I feel like it, man shut up And you ain't even back me up when we s'posed to be crew

Havoc: When I was bout to talk right after you I swear, I swear man

(Roy)  
These chicks don't even know the name of my band.  
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands.  
Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man.  
All because I'm the lead singer of my band...

(Maes)  
They say the lead singers rock, but the group does not  
Once we sold out arenas to the amusement park  
I'm gonna let the world know that proof is hot  
I should cut his mic off when the musics starts  
Ready to snap on a dumb ass fan  
Every time i hear (Hey dude I love your band)  
We ain't a band bitch we don't play instruments  
So why he get 90 and we only get 10 percent  
And these guys they can find every area code

(Roy: Maes carry my bag)

Bitch carry your own  
Can't make it to the stage, security in my way  
(Who the fuck are you? Where's Ed and Scar?!)

(Breda)  
Goddammit I'm sick of this group  
Time for me to go solo and make some loot  
I told you I made the beats and wrote all the raps  
Till colonel slipped me some crack  
Lose Yourself video I was in the back  
Superman video I was in the back  
Fuck the media, I got some suggestions  
Fuck Mustang, ask us the questions  
Like who's D12, how we get started

(But what about Roy)

Bitch are you retarded?  
Anyway I'm the popularest guy in the group  
Big ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute

(Riza; if you cant beat them hey sexy!)  
Envy told me to do situps to get buff  
I did two and a half and then I couldn't get up  
Fuck D12, I'm outta this band  
I'm gonna start a group with the real Hawkeye

(Roy)  
Girl why cant you see your the only one for me and it just tears my ass apart to know that you don't know my name...

(Breda)  
These chicks don't even know the name of my band...(ha ha)  
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands...(Fuck Mustang)  
Cuz once I blow I know that i'll be the man.  
All because I'm the lead singer of my band.  
My Band My Band My Band My Band My Band My Band

Hawkeye  
Lust  
Loves me

(Riza)  
The hottest boy band in the world.  
D12! (cant believe she said that)

(Roy as a salsa singer)  
I'm the lead singer of my band,  
I get all the girl's to take off their underpants  
And the lead singer of my band, my salsa  
Makes all the pretty girl's wan to dance  
My salsa, look out for my next single, it's called My Salsa.  
My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, my salsa  
My salsa makes all the pretty girls wan to dance  
And take off their underpants  
My salsa makes all the pretty girls wan to dance  
And take off their underpants, my salsa

(Where'd everybody go)  
"They are still here sir." Riza said

End Part one

Well that was stupid but i had fun RXR


	2. Shake your tail feather

Dont own anything 

They finished My band as the radio went to comicericals. The Door opened and Ed, Al, and Winry walked in.  
"Ummm What are they doing Miss Hawkeye?" Al asked. "oh they just drunk and trying to rap." The radio went to a new song, shake your tail feathers, and they started up again. "oh no" Riza said.

(Roy And Maes)  
We do it for fun  
We just do it for fun  
Dirty E.N.T  
We do it for fun Bad Boy (Maes: Roy, Maes, Jean Havoc)  
We do it for fun (Maes: This is history baby)  
Bend them trucks We do it for fun (Maes: haha)  
Stack them bucks We do it for fun (Maes: Come on now)  
And the band played on (Maes: yea)  
Just like (Maes: I believe you cool to this)  
We do it for fun If you see me ma  
We do it for fun

Riza and Winry look on at this horrible excuse for a rap. Winry turns to Riza "Does Mr. Hughes Have a wife"  
Riza just nodded and pulled a video camera out of her desk. They smirked.

(Maes)  
Bad Boys 2, the soundtrack Let's Go

(Roy And Maes)  
Come here girl  
What your name is?  
Where you from?  
Turn around who you came with?  
Is that your ass or your momma have reindeer?  
I can't explain it but damn sure glad you came here  
I'm still a sucker for cornrows, you know I never changed that (Maes: nah uh)  
Your body is banging mamma, but where your brains at? (Maes: Come on)  
I'm still the same cat when I was young I was running with bad boys  
But now I'm older hope they saw I'm running with bad boys (Maes: that's right)  
Here come another man  
Unlike no other man  
Candy coated whoa!  
Switching every other lane  
Ya'll help me Why don't cha  
Please help me 8th girl this week and its only Tuesday (Riza Rolled her eyes at this)  
I like the cocky bow legged ones  
Like white and Dominicans  
Hispanics and Asians  
Shake it for Roy son Manolos Ma-no-no's  
I can't tell Everybody and their hootchies  
When you do it do it well

(Braves tomahawk chop done in background of Chorus with Fury, Falman, and Benda) Rizas head smacked her desk.

Roy: Let me see you take it  
Maes: Girl go and take it off  
Roy: We can even do it slow  
Maes: We can even do it slow  
Roy: Take it where you want to go  
Maes: Take it where you want to go  
Roy: Just take that ass to the floor  
Maes: Pop something move something Shake ya tail feather, girl go and take it low  
Roy: We can even do it slow  
Maes: We can even do it slow  
Roy: Take it where you want to go  
Maes: Take it where you want to go  
Roy: Just take that ass to the floor  
Maes: Pop something move something Shake ya tail feather

(Maes and Roy)  
Now real girls get down on the floor (Roy: on the floor)  
Get that money honey act like you know (Roy: like you know)  
Mama I like how you dance The way you fit in them pants (Roy: Uh)  
Enter the floor (Roy: Uh) take it low (Roy: Uh) girl do it again (Roy: Uh)  
You know I love that (Roy: I love that)  
Now where them girls at? (Roy: Where the girls at)  
It's Maes, Jean Havoc, and Roy how you love that? (Roy: Shit uh ohhhhhh)  
Come on, we got another one player  
From New York to the Dirty how they loving it player?  
Baby you impressive let's get  
To know each other  
You the best of the best and You got to love it in the dresses, the sexiest  
I had to tell her she's a young Riza Hawkeye live in living color  
Look here momma you're dead wrong for having them pants on Miniskirt's cut low so when you shake it I see your thong  
My pocket's full of dough shake your feathers till the morning It's Maes and Roy man somebody better warn them

"Why do they keep using my name?" asked Riza. "I dont know Hawkeye but this is funny" Ed said.

Roy: Let me see you take it  
Maes: Girl go and take it off  
Roy: We can even do it slow  
Maes: We can even do it slow  
Roy: Take it where you want to go  
Maes: Take it where you want to go  
Roy: Just take that ass to the floor  
Maes: Pop something move something Shake ya tail feather, girl go and take it low  
Roy: We can even do it slow  
Maes: We can even do it slow  
Roy: Take it where you want to go  
Maes: Take it where you want to go  
Roy: Just take that ass to the floor  
Maes: Pop something move something Shake ya tail feather

(Roy)  
Oh no I heard them bad boys coming  
Can't stop now Got to continue my running (Fury: yea)  
Because we go party till them lights come on  
And then my song stop, fuck it, because my mic still on

(Jean Havoc and Roy)  
Yo, I'm the big booty type I like them thick with their mind right (Roy: Awe)  
Banging personality conversate when the time right (Roy: Naw)  
I'm not hard I've got women to handle that  
They be like he the man when I'm really a Thundercat  
Come on you know the tics connect like Voltron  
Collect so much grass popo thinking we mow lawns  
My gohans don't match that  
But it matches her head wrap and the seats that I got in the lac  
I'm just a juvenile (Roy: Wha)  
Because I be about G's  
Keep your women wizzy man they say they have my babies  
I'm young like Turk, like the cash and the money (Roy: I'm going to eat my money)  
Man, I'm that damn hungry  
See I'm starving like Elirc girl  
I've got sixteen bars of fire is what I'm starting  
Plus my rats come in packs like Scar and Al Elirc  
And I got so many keys you'd think I was valet parking

Roy: Let me see you take it  
Maes: Girl go and take it off  
Roy: We can even do it slow  
Maes: We can even do it slow  
Roy: Take it where you want to go  
Maes: Take it where you want to go  
Roy: Just take that ass to the floor  
Maes: Pop something move something Shake ya tail feather, girl go and take it low  
Roy: We can even do it slow  
Maes: We can even do it slow  
Roy: Take it where you want to go  
Maes: Take it where you want to go  
Roy: Just take that ass to the floor  
Maes: Pop something move something Shake ya tail feather

(Roy)  
Oh no I heard them bad boys coming  
Can't stop now Got to continue my running (Havoc: yea)  
Because we go party till them lights come on  
And then my song stop, fuck it, because my mic still on (Maes: man)

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Ed and Al were rolling on the ground laughing their heads off at Havoc's 'rapper' pose. (He had his pants down low and was grabbing his umm yea part.) The Girls just smirked.

Well there you go. RxR


	3. Just Loose It

hey its sarah im back 

Riza had, at this point, about 5 glasses of wiskey and 2 bottles of wine so she was throughly drunk at this point. (she had to listen to the boys rap.) Winry was just as drunk, infact Ed was the only one who wasnt he just keept taping laughing to himself.

(Riza making sounds)  
Ok.  
Guess who's back?  
Back again Riza's back  
Tell a friend Whaaaaaaaa

Now everyone report to the dance floor  
To the dance floor, to the dance floor  
Now everyone report to the dance floor  
Alright Stop!...Pajama time

Come here little kiddies,  
On my lap  
Guess who's back with a brand new rap?  
And I don't mean rap as in a new case of child molestation accusation  
(Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
No worries, Mama's got a brand new bag of toys  
What else could I possibly do to make noise?  
I done touched on everything, but little boys  
That's not a stab at Michael  
That's just a metaphor,  
I'm just psycho  
I go a little bit crazy sometimes  
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes  
Good God, dip, do a little slide  
Bend down, touch your toes and just glide  
Up the center of the dance floor  
Like TP for my bunghole  
And it's cool if you let one go  
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?  
Give a little "poot poot", it's OK! (Breda farts (everyone holds there breath))  
...Oops my cd just skipped  
And everyone just heard you let one rip

(Riza untucks her shirt)  
Now I'm gonna make you dance It's your chance  
Yeah Girl shake that ass  
Oops I mean boy boy boy boy  
Boy you know you're my world  
Alright now lose it (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Just lose it (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Go crazy (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Oh baby (Winry: HA-HA)  
Oh baby, baby (Winry: HA-HA)

(Riza Pulls pants down to look like a rapper)  
It's Friday and it's my day  
Just to party all the way to sunday  
Maybe til monday, I dunno what day  
Everyday's just a holiday  
Crusin' on the freeway  
Feelin' kinda breezy  
Got the top down, lettin' my hair blow I dunno where I'm goin'  
All I know is when I get there Someone's gonna "touch my body" (Roy starts drooling)

Excuse me Sir (Riza points to Roy),  
I don't mean to sound like a jerk  
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from work  
Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair?  
Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out? (Winry: Yeah)  
Now, what's your name Boy?  
What's your sign?  
(Ed "Geez, you must be out of your mind")  
ED! (Winry: HA-HA)  
Beer Goggles! blind!  
I'm just tryna unwind now I'm

(Riza Starts to dance in a sexual way with Winry)  
Now I'm gonna make you dance It's your chance  
Yeah Girl shake that ass  
Oops I mean boy boy boy boy  
Boy you know you're my world  
Alright now lose it (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Just lose it (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Go crazy (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Oh baby (Winry: HA-HA)  
Oh baby, baby (Winry: HA-HA)

(Lets just say now the strip tease started. ("God they are drunk," Ed thought))  
It's Tuesday and I'm locked up  
I'm in jail and I don't know what happend  
They say I was running butt naked  
Down the street screaming (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Well I'm sorry, I don't remember  
All I know is this much I'm not guilty  
They said, "Save it, Girl we gotcha you on tape yellin' at an old lady 'touch my body!'" (Roy looks like something died)

(Riza Turns off lights)

Now this is the part where the rap breaks down  
It gets real intense, no one makes a sound  
Everything looks like it's 8 Mile now  
The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves

(Riza Then turns it back on)

Snap back to reality  
Look it's R.Mustang!  
Yo you signed me up to battle?  
I'm a grown chick!  
Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubbie  
I don't have any lines to go right here so, chubba teletubbie!  
lady's (Winry: WHAT?!) lady's (Winry: WHAT)  
Grab you left ovary, make right one jealous (Roy: what? (looks confused))  
Black boys  
White boys  
Skinny boys  
Fat boys  
Tall boys  
Small boys  
I'm callin' all boys  
Everyone report to the dance floor  
It's your chance for a little romance whore (Riza grinns)  
Butt squeezin' it's the season  
Just go (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA)  
It's so appeasin'

(Riza walked over to Roy and started to dance with him)

Now I'm gonna make you dance It's your chance  
Yeah Girl shake that ass  
Oops I mean boy boy boy boy  
Boy you know you're my world  
Alright now lose it (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Just lose it (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Go crazy (Winry: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Oh baby (Winry: HA-HA)  
Oh baby, baby (Winry: HA-HA))

(Winry)  
UmMmMmm touch my body  
UmMmMmm touch my body  
Ooh girl just touch my body  
I mean boy just touch my body

Ed stared at them. " You all are just plain crazy." "AMEN!!" Riza and Winry yelled.

RxR please


	4. Walk it out

Sarah: Guess Whos back.  
Riza: Roy She's doing it again Roy: But she made you drunk?  
Riza: So.  
Sarah: He likes that.  
Riza: O.o Sarah: So yea i dont own any thing later 

lt. Ross had chosen this moment in time to enter colonel Mustang's office. "Hey what are yo...OH DEAR GOD RIZA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Riza and Winry turned with there pants off at this point. "Rapping" they mumbled. Ed and Al walked over to Lt. Ross and explained the problem. "Well I guess ill stay and watch too." She said as they started again.

Maes: Ayyyyyyy

Maes: Now Walk It Out

Roy: Now Walk It Out

Fury: Now Walk It Out

Falman: Now Walk It Out

Havoc: Now Walk It Out

Breda: Now Walk It Out

Winry: Now Walk It Out

RIza: Now Walk It Out

Roy: West Side Walk It Out

Riza: South Side Walk It Out

Roy: East Side Walk It Out

Riza: North Side Walk It Out

Maes: Now Walk It Out

Roy: Now Walk It Out

Fury: Now Walk It Out

Falman: Now Walk It Out

Havoc: Now Walk It Out

Breda: Now Walk It Out

Winry: Now Walk It Out

RIza: Now Walk It Out

Roy: West Side Walk It Out

Riza: South Side Walk It Out

Roy: East Side Walk It Out

Riza: North Side Walk It Out

(Roy)  
Now Hit The Dance Floor  
Now Bend Your Back Low  
She Do It Wit No Hands  
Now Stop Shoot And Roll  
I'm Snappin Maes Hoe  
Now he in trouble hoe  
I Like The Way She Move  
An Undercover Hoe

(Maes)  
Now Everybody Leaning  
I Make The Crowd Rock  
Now Gone And Walk It Out  
I see they on my jock  
She Like That smoking Gun  
Is They The Double Gun Twins  
2 Hoes Choosing Me  
So I Know That Imma Win

(Havoc)  
It's On Once Again  
Patron One Again  
I Threw My Head Back  
Then I Froze Like The Wind

Roy: West Side Walk It Out

Riza: South Side Walk It Out

Roy: East Side Walk It Out

Riza: North Side Walk It Out

Maes: Now Walk It Out

Roy: Now Walk It Out

Fury: Now Walk It Out

Falman: Now Walk It Out

Havoc: Now Walk It Out

Breda: Now Walk It Out

Winry: Now Walk It Out

RIza: Now Walk It Out

Roy: West Side Walk It Out

Riza: South Side Walk It Out

Roy: East Side Walk It Out

Riza: North Side Walk It Out

(Fury)  
They Walk It On The East  
They Walk It On The West  
South Side Just Got It  
And North Side Shoot Your Necks  
In The Club  
On The Goose  
Big Stacks  
No Flex  
These Chicks Wanna Try Me  
Tell Dem 2 Long Decks

(Falman)  
Havoc Walking Wit His Ones  
Steady Smoking On That Fruit  
Riza Walking Wit Her Guns  
All in Her Military Boots  
O Shit There They Go  
They Walking On The Flour  
Grey Goose  
Double Shots (Riza and Roy: HELL YAA)  
It'll Let Ya Body Go

(Breda)  
My Dogs On My Side  
Fellas Hating Think It's Funny  
I'm Walking On These Dogs  
Now I'm Getting 2 The Money  
Froze On Dem Hoes  
I'm Not Talking Bout Dancing Fool  
Count On The Charm  
Diamond Steady Steady Hancin

Maes: Now Walk It Out

Roy: Now Walk It Out

Fury: Now Walk It Out

Falman: Now Walk It Out

Havoc: Now Walk It Out

Breda: Now Walk It Out

Winry: Now Walk It Out

RIza: Now Walk It Out

Roy: West Side Walk It Out

Riza: South Side Walk It Out

Roy: East Side Walk It Out

Riza: North Side Walk It Out

Riza: OK Now Do It How U Do It Gone And Walk It Out  
Winry: I Said Do It How U Do Gone And Walk It Out  
Riza: OK Do It How U Do It Gone And Walk It Out  
Winry: I Say Do It How U Do It Gone And Walk It Out

(Roy)  
Walk  
Walk  
Walk  
Now Walk It Out

(Riza)  
Walk  
Walk  
Walk  
Now Walk It Out

(Riza and Roy)  
Walk  
Walk  
Walk  
Now Walk It Out

All: I Said Do It How U Do It Gone And Walk It Out

"This is just too funny i have to pee." Ed cried. Lt. Ross was at a loss for words.

rxe


	5. Smack That and Turth or dare starts

Riza:... WHY IN THE HELL AM I DRUNK IN THIS FAN FIC.  
Sarah: Cause i said so.  
Roy: (snikers)  
Riza: (cocks gun)  
Roy: OH!! SHIT!!!!!! (runs)  
Sarah: dont own anything but my stupidy 

"Roy, I wanna sing with yoooouuu..." Riza said very drunk like. "YEYEYEYEY!!!!!" Roy said as another song came on.

(Riza)  
Mustang  
Convict  
Up front  
(Roy: Riza)  
Roy Mustang  
I see the one  
cuz he be that baby

(Roy)  
I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.  
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.  
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Scar yo.  
And possibly bend you over.  
Look back and watch me  
smack that, all on the floor, (Riza looks sick)  
smack that, give me some more,  
smack that, 'till you get sore  
smack that, oooh.  
smack that, all on the floor,  
smack that, give me some more,  
smack that, 'till you get sore,  
smack that, oooh.

Up front style.  
Ready to attack now.  
Pull in the parking lot slow with the lack down.  
Havoc's got the whole thing packed down.  
Step in the club. The wardrobe intact now. (Roy grinns)

"Roy Mustang you pervert!!" Riza yells

I feel it.  
Go on and crack now.  
Ooh, I see it.  
Don't let back now.  
Im'a call her.  
Then I put the mack down.  
Money? No problem.  
Pocket full of that now.

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.  
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.  
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Scar yo.  
And possibly bend you over.  
Look back and watch me  
smack that, all on the floor,  
smack that, give me some more,  
smack that, 'till you get sore  
smack that, oooh.  
smack that, all on the floor,  
smack that, give me some more,  
smack that, 'till you get sore,  
smack that, oooh. (Riza: "you wish mustang")

(Riza)  
Ooh! Looks like another club banger.  
They better hang on.  
When I throw this thang on.  
Get a little drink on.  
They goin' flip.  
For this Roy shit.  
You can bank on it.  
Pedicure, manicure, kitty cat claws.  
The way he climbs up and down them poles  
Lookin' like one of them Pretty Cat Dolls.  
Tryna hold my back through my drawers.  
Steps off stage, didn't think I saw him.  
Creeps up behind me and he's like, you're -  
I'm like, yeah I know, let's cut to the chase.  
No time to waste.  
Back to my place.  
Plus from the club to the crib's like a mile away.  
Or more like a palace, shall I say.  
And plus I got a pal.  
Every guy is game.  
In fact he's the one singing the song that's playing!  
(MUSTANG!)

(Roy)  
I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.  
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.  
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Scar yo.  
And possibly bend you over.  
Look back and watch me  
smack that, all on the floor,  
smack that, give me some more,  
smack that, 'till you get sore  
smack that, oooh.  
smack that, all on the floor,  
smack that, give me some more,  
smack that, 'till you get sore,  
smack that, oooh

Hawkeye's rollin',  
D an' them rollin'.  
Boo an'  
Oh Marvelous an' them rollin'.  
Women just hoin'.  
Big booty rollin'.  
Soon I be all in them an' throwin D.  
Hittin' no less than 3.  
Block will style like wee, wee.  
Girl, I can tell you want me, 'cause lately.

I feel you creepin', I can see you from my shadow.  
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.  
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Scar yo.  
And possibly bend you over.  
Look back and watch me  
smack that, all on the floor,  
smack that, give me some more,  
smack that, 'till you get sore  
smack that, oooh.  
smack that, all on the floor,  
smack that, give me some more,  
smack that, 'till you get sore,  
smack that, oooh.

Roy starts to kiss all up on Riza. (Dear lord there drunk and im stupid.) Riza Pulls him in to his office.  
"Ya know 'hic' im thinkin 'Belch' when they get back 'cough' we should play truth or dare?" Fury Said "Good idea, in the mean time well keep singing." Winry said happily. Lt. Ross, Ed and Al just tried to keep a straight face.

I Might up the rating if i put and cothing type thing on here, but that will take a bit if i do that. i might not let me know if you do.

Sarah

RxR


	6. Sarah at 5 AM?

Sarah: ok this is not really a chapter just me trying to get out of my writing block 

Riza: so what are we going to talk about?

Roy:...SEX!!!

Sarah and Riza: HELL NO!!!

Roy: awww man

Sarah: hey ill get seto here and see what he says

(Seto comes in to my crazy ass mind)

Seto:...Mustang

Roy:...Kaiba

Sarah and Riza: (Giggles)

Boys: What?

Riza: Nothing

Sarah: soo whats up

Roy: Nothin

Seto: ...

Riza: The sky

Sarah: (bangs head on wall repeatly) Hey ill get Kenshin and Haruka to

(In comes Kenshin and Haruka.)

Kenshin: ORO?

Haruka: Hey Sarah

Sarah: Hey Guys

Riza: So what did you do today Sarah?

Sarah: Well i woke up

Roy and Seto: No shit...

(Haruka, Sarah, and Riza glare at them)

Sarah: anyway, i went to wallmart

Kenshin: WALLY WORLD YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Sarah: (O.o) i got some green tea, ramen, and yogart.

Riza: You spelt that wrong

Sarah: So? and then i ...

Roy: Had sex?

Seto: Got a Brain?

Kenshin: Got laid?

Haruka: Turned Bi?

Riza and Sarah:...no

Sarah: Choked on the yogart and tea, and tried to come out of my block

Riza: Which is were we come in

Seto: Sarah, Roy says you have more stuff of him...

Roy: well she does.

Seto: Well she has the blueeyeswhitedragon

Roy: Im On her blanket and mints.

Sarah: Im sry to say that kenshin has you beat

Roy and Seto: How so?

Sarah: Well...Lets see i have both the cut and uncut samurai x, Vol.'s 1, 3, 15-22 or something like that, a t-shirt with him on it, a messenger bag and a lighter.

Riza and Haruka: (Snikers)

Kenshin: ORO?

Sarah: So yeah this has nothing to do with the story just a look in side my mind.

Haruka: Soooo...Riza wanna go to my place?

Riza: sure lets get Rukia to

(They leave)

Roy: AWWW Man she left me and went lesiban on me

Sarah: No she didnt she just has matters to decuss with the ladies. ya know girl talk.

Seto: Although it wouldnt suprise me if she dumped you to go out with a tree.

Sarah and Kenshin: (Snikers)

Roy: oh yeah well im suprised that Tea hasnt wanted to go out with a book yet.

Sarah: kenshin leave now

Kenshin: Hai... (leaves)

Seto: At least trees grow

Roy: well Books are made from trees

Sarah: Way to go yall have common sense...bravo

Roy: your pitiful jokes are not needed

Sarah: Sure they are im the writer so i get to do what i want. :P

Seto: Im Sexer Than You!!!! (Takes off shirt)

Sarah: (Drools)

Roy: HELL NO I AM!!!! (tottaly strips)

Sarah: (Drools...again)

Riza: Im bac...WTF?

Sarah: They had a fight on who was sexier

Riza: AAAAhhh Well we better go.

Sarah: Yeah sorry to those who were looking for a chapter i will try to get out of this soon.

RxR


	7. DAMN, Lt Ross is good

Sarah: (Bobbing head) 

Roy: what is she doing?

Riza: do you not hear the backstreet boys playing

Roy: yeah so...

Riza: Well for some reason she listens to them to relax.

Roy: (as cd ended) Thank God its over...

Riza: um...sir

Roy: (stops dancing) yes?

Riza: The cd's on repeat.

Roy: SHIT!!! NOOOOO!!!!!

Riza: (sighs) Sarah doesnt own this if she did she would need to find a job no would she?

"I have a new idea for a game." said Maes. (Roy and Riza still werent back from their "Singing") "cool what is it Hughes?" asked Havoc.  
"Well, We pick two of us and we say a topic, like stupidity, and they both have to say the stupidist (Note to self: This is not a word.) thing they have ever done." Maes stated. "Cool" everyone minus Al, who left, and Lt. Ross who looked like a drunk deer. "All Right whose first?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Inside the office)

"Oh Riza" Roy moaned

"I told you i was gonna kick your ass at this game" (No evil perv's they are actually playing a game.)

"I would hope so considering it has nice BIG guns in it. are you sure you know how to use it?" Roy said smirking

"OF COURSE, this is not my first time ya know." She said smacking him with her PS2 controller. (Note: hehehe serves the perv's right...)

"Ouch, that hurt Riza." He faked hurt

They kept playing their 007 game. (insert smile face here)

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Havoc and Lt. Ross were up first. "okay um... first topic, most Embarrassing moments. GO!" Maes shouted.

"Telling mom she should go bald." Havoc said

"Kissing a frog" Ross said

"falling down a step."

"triping on air."

"breaking a toliet."

"Kissing a Gay guy." When Ross said this eveyone looked at her.

"New one" Maes said

"I got it" Fury said, "stupidist dare ever."

"to hump a cat."

"To eat dirt."

"to turn gay for a day"

"to kiss my best friends chest."

"To make out with my sis."

"To hump a wall"

"to sing"

"To dance and sing to a stupid song"

"My turn" Breda said, "stupid things you have said."

"you look like a guy."

"If you are hitting on me ill hit you in your head and maybe your manhood will come out?" Ross said while smirking

"girls cant do anything."

"Cheaver,...oh you mean cleaver"

"Hey babe i like you boobs."

"maybe if you stick that cancer stick you know where there might actually be some thing there."

"Oh shit" ed said, laughing

"well,... there might be some air left in my head to inflate your chest?"

"I wonder if the armory is closed...they have some balls im sure you can borrow?"

"I...Damn im out of things to say cause your stupidity is rubbing off."

"Well, wait...whats that sound?...Sounds like a village is missing their idot."

"Ok Ross Wins." Maes said "Damn im glad i didnt get her." Ed said as they waited to hear the nex pair. and a loud thump was herd in the colonel's office.

"Hey keep it down Riza" they hear Roy say sounding breathless.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lets just say Roy and Riza finished the game and went to a new one. Finding one of his pant buttons as she tore it off she smirked as she said, "i won that game Mustang, now your mine." As her lips claimed his.

Riza: Ya know you are a weird person sarah

Sarah Yep i know

Roy: any way thank you reviewers...i spelt that wrong...whatever

Sarah: Special thanks to colonelphantom for being the first to read and review my story thank you

RxR


	8. Truth or Dare Part 1

Sarah: Im back again, sorry it took so long 

Roy: yea she went though a gothic stage

Riza: and now shes at the ADD stage

Sarah: still dont own any of these char. or songs. if i did dont you thing i would have gotten money off of them by now?

Riza: as for the Ed/Winry thing, she loves them just as much a the next person, however their is a reason she put this under myself and Roy. That is not to say there wont be any Ed/Win but they are not the main pair. That and if you rush her you get something like that stupid first love story.

Sarah: enjoy

Roy and Riza rejoined as Lt. Ross took Maes home. Fury, Breda, and Falman left to get a taxi. So only Havoc, Riza,  
Roy, Ed, Al, and Winry were left. "well that deflated fast." Ed said, as he helped himself to some beer. "How about truth or dare?" asked Havoc. "sure" the others said as they all went in to roys office only to find it a mess. "What the hell happened here?" all but Roy and Riza asked. "you know what, i dont think i wanna know." Ed said. "well whose first." Al asked. Eyes all turned toward Riza.  
"What?"

"Oh Ri..."

"no"

"But i havent even..."

"I said no"

"wont you just lis..."

"Nope"

"Why?"

"Whatcha mean why?"

"Why no?"

"Cause"

"Thats not an answer."

"So?"

"alright you two, Hawkeye your first and Mustang will be next. Now ask a question." Ed yelled.

Sarah: Sorry for the shortness but i need truth or dare questions cause mine are 1) Repeated 2) Perverted or 3) just plain stupid

Riza: so please send us some questions and we will say who they are from at the begining of the chapter.

RxR


	9. Truth or Dare Part 2

Sarah: Hey 

Riza: I still cant believe you but that in there

Winry: yea we arent...(Roy smacks hand on her mouth)

Sarah: (o.O) any who, dont own and if you dont like truth or dare yaoi/yuri dont read.

Hawkeye spent her time thinking on who to ask. After a few minutes, she choose Roy.

"Roy, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth?"

"are you sure, Roy boy?" Ed asked.

"Shut up."

"Okay, do you ever clean your room?"

"...no"

"Okay your turn"

"Alrighty then." Roy thinks for a bit then comes up with a person, "Riza, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

He smirked evily, "I dare you and Winry to make out for three minutes while fullmetal and my self watch."

After a few minutes of letting it sink in they both looked at him socked "WHAT?" they both asked at the same time.  
"You cant be serious"

"Ah but i am." He and Ed looked as if christmas came early this year.

"Fine but only if Winry is ok with it?"

"Its ok lets just get it over with."

(A/N: (Author is currently laughing too hard at this if you would please give her a moment...okay thanks)

Riza inched slowly toward the younger girl, whose eyes were already closed.(Roy: just so yall know sarah is writing this cause she lost a bet and cant seem to stop laughing for some reason.) The Lt.'s eyelids slowly shut as her lips meet with Winry's. Both were content with just staying like that for 3min. but the Colonel's voice entered their ears as he said, "It has to be an actual make out ladies." Riza opened her eyes and glared at Roy. Winry just mumbled against her lips that she was going to hurt someone when this was over. They both sighed at the same time. Then deepened their kiss as Riza gently pushed Winry back on the ground below. (Riza: Why the hell are you still laughing Sarah?) Winry wraped her arms around the older woman's neck as Riza's went around her waist. The boys were starting to drool, except Al, Ed whispered to Mustang "Damn good choice Colonel." (Roy and Riza: Shut up sarah.) Winry and Riza looked at the clock and saw they had one minute left. A minute later they broke apart.

"Damn" The boys said

"Ok Ri, your turn."

"Winry come here a minute" The two proceed to whisper to each other. After a bit of that they nodded.

"Ed, Truth or Dare?"

Sarah: OOOo cliffy, Riza kissed ...(Starts laughing)

RIza: Stop laughing (Blushes)

Roy: Wow Riza, That was HOT!!

Riza: (points gun at Roys "manhood") Any way thanks for the ideas for this chapter from Queen Anime1st

RxR


End file.
